


The Way I Want You To

by darknessvisible



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Dubious Consent, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Protective Ben Solo, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2020-08-23 18:01:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknessvisible/pseuds/darknessvisible
Summary: Rey Niima works at the coffee shop downstairs from her apartment. Ben Solo is a regular who has had his eye on Rey for quite some time. When Rey gets a boyfriend, Ben decides it's time to act on his desire, however cruel it may be. [ a classic possessive!ben story. kinda horror, kinda cute, ~very~ smutty. not a winning example of healthy relationships. you’ve been warned. ][ COMPLETE ]





	1. Part One: Fall

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [The Way I Want You To (La forma en que quiero que lo hagas)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/23731408) by [Racingirl63](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Racingirl63/pseuds/Racingirl63)

Rey Niima works at the coffee shop downstairs from her apartment. Ben Solo is a regular who has had his eye on Rey for quite some time. When Rey gets a boyfriend, Ben starts showing up more and more. [ a classic possessive!ben story. kinda horror, kinda cute, kinda smutty. not a winning example of healthy relationships. you’ve been warned. i present to you... part one of this four part story. ]

The front door jingled loudly as Rey Niima entered _ Galaxy _, a local coffee shop in the downstairs unit of her apartment building. Hair still wet from the shower she’d haphazardly taken only twenty minutes ago, she twirled and tucked it into a bun that held itself together from the moisture. From the counter came a low whistle; Poe, Rey’s coworker who usually worked the day shift right before she clocked in, always greeted her in this way. 

“Is that my fine ass _ peanut _?” Poe flashed her a cheeky grin from around the espresso machine. 

“I know you're being sarcastic--”

“I’m serious. You think I don’t love this whole… _ just rolled out of bed barely give a fuck _vibe you have going on? How could I not? You’re a disaster. You’re like a wet puppy,” Poe hopped up across the counter, nearly kicking over a few tea bag displays as he did so. “And I get to pet you. Hello good puppy yesh ur a good puppy.” He came over and pulled her bun out, tousling Rey’s hair. 

She smirked, slapping his hand away. “Truly you are the worst.” 

“Am I? Because I don’t think I am. In fact, I think I’m the best.”

“If you were The Best, you would cover my shift this Friday night.” Rey didn’t look up but her smile was evident to Poe even with a bowed head. She was the type of person who carried smiles in her shoulders, all scrunched up with excitement. 

“_Oh__ Adam, _ ” Poe made his voice husky and soft, “_are we going back to your car? Does it have air conditioning? _” 

Rey threw a wash towel across the counter and hit Poe squarely in the face. 

Someone approached the counter, clearing their throat over the mixture of laughter and cursing coming from the two of them. Rey immediately shifted into work mode as she stifled a giggle and straightened her posture. 

“Can I help -_ oh _! Hey Ben.” 

Her shoulders scrunched up a bit as she smiled at one of her regulars. Ben Solo had been coming to this coffee shop as long as Rey could remember, his order always the same . Today the tall, sharp-faced man wore a black sweater, as usual, and grey slacks. Rey was often amused by how little he tried to stand out, clothing-wise, and yet was impossible to overlook in any room, what with his towering height and shoulder span--nearly twice Rey’s much smaller frame. Ben Solo drew much attention whenever he came by.

But as far as Rey could tell he didn’t ever feed into it. In fact, she couldn’t recall a time she’d ever seen him converse with another person for more than the occasional small talk. 

When he’d first begun frequenting the coffee shop, Rey had to combat the exhilaration his presence produced in her chest. It had taken time, and a few awkward interactions, but Rey eventually grew used to Ben Solo, even with his sonorous voice, wild thick black hair, and the way the muscles in his hand rippled whenever he reached out for his coffee cup. She had accepted that he would never see her in _ that _ way.

Now, when she looked at him she saw familiarity, warmth, if only just the smallest anticipation. For what, she didn’t know. 

Neither did Ben, though he returned that anticipation; always sitting in the same corner and watching her between sips, just to be prepared for the brief minute she would come by to collect his empty cup. He frequently imagined himself asking her to come over after the shop is closed, but it never felt like the right time - she was younger than him, seemed to constantly be by Poe’s side, and had a busy schedule. He would get around to it eventually, Ben told himself, and it wasn’t like Rey was the type to _ date _, at least not for the entire year he’d known her. 

“Rey.” He said her name every time he greeted her. 

“Ben,” she repeated, mocking his serious disposition. 

He laughed, drumming his fingers on the counter and leaning over just a little bit, narrowing the distance between them. Even bent over like this, he was taller than Rey, so she had to look up at him. Leaning forward in the same way, she met his gaze and picked up a straw, tearing the paper off with her teeth. “The usual, I presume.” She quirked a brow, blowing the straw paper directly into his face. 

"Ow!" Ben pretended to be shocked. “I should report that.” 

Rey grinned, satisfied with the smile he was trying to conceal as he reproached her.

“I’m serious,” he pressed, “I really should. Look at this,” he picked up the straw wrapper, “you are vicious. All this raw, untamed power.” Ben crushed the wrapper in his palm and aimed it at her forehead, flicking it with some success. 

“You know--” Poe’s voice interrupted them, the young man catching the wrapper and tossing it emphatically into the trash next to the register, “--if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you two crazy kids are flirting.” 

Rey had mentioned to Poe, months ago, how hard it was to be around Ben back when she had a crush on him, but he knew she had calmed down. “_ Stop, please _,” she mumbled through a smile, leaning forward to squeeze Poe’s shoulder.

“What? I’m serious. So much...,” he waved his hands between the two of them, “...weird, white people chemistry. Like Nick and Norah’s infinite playlist.” 

“What?” Ben coughed. 

“It doesn’t matter, Scott Pilgrim,” Poe patted Ben on the back, “cuz Rey’s got a _ boyfriend _.” 

“No, no no no no. _ No _. no. I really don’t. I don’t,” Rey appealed, glancing back and forth between them and shaking her head vigorously. 

“Do you hear that? She’s so nervous.” Picking up his bag, Poe stepped out from behind the counter and smirked. “Have fun.” With a wave, he exited the coffee shop. 

Rey crossed over to the espresso machine and made herself busy with Ben's order. Small latte with an extra shot, no flavoring, unsweetened milk. Her hands were jumpy as they wiped down the steamer rod. While they would usually fill this time with chatter--about Ben's latest book project, Rey's terrible Professor, whatever Ben had failed at cooking that past weekend--they were both silent. 

As Rey finished pouring the milk foam on top, Ben cleared his throat, opening his mouth like he might say something. She held out the drink to him. "Poe is just being rude." 

This acknowledgement relaxed Ben's shoulders. "So," he tried not to sound as tense as he felt, "there's no boyfriend?"

"_No _, no. Well, I mean no." Rey flushed, feeling awkward discussing a current crush with someone whom she'd had a past crush on--an intense one. "Why does everyone care so much anyways?" 

Before Ben could answer her, a customer approached the counter. "One sec," Rey mouthed to Ben. There were days where his resolve was such that his thoughts were mostly pure, but on other days he loved it when she communicated with him like that, giving him an excuse to stare at her lips. If someone else ever got to touch those lips... Ben's hand twitched. It had to be a joke. Besides, he trusted Rey far more than that frat boy Poe. 

"You need better friends," he mouthed back to her, smirking. 

\---

The rest of the night was relatively quiet, despite the steady stream of people coming in and out that kept Rey busy. As Ben sat in the corner, only semi-reading the book open in his lap, he wondered if it might be time to ask Rey out. Halloween was fast approaching and he could use it as a compelling reason to say yes - Rey _ loved _ Halloween, especially the dressing up part. Any chance to do so would surely pique her interest. 

Ben decided he would wait until she had to close up shop, giving them a chance to be alone. 

Ten minutes or so before closing, the door chimed again. Ben, not lifting his head from the book, casually flicked his eyes up to see who had come to potentially interrupt his plan. To his horror, it was a young man smiling in Rey's direction--the smile spiked something in Ben's chest, like gasoline on burning coals. His insides sizzled.

Rey looked up from the mop she'd been sliding under one of the tables by the front window, breaking into a nervous grin when she saw Adam. He was someone she'd met at a bookstore a few weeks ago, a tall, red headed young man with bewitching blue eyes. He wore a dark red soccer jersey--the color of the university Rey attended--and on the back of it was printed his last name in white, 

> “HUX”.

It wasn't an official relationship or anything, but it was nice to finally like someone who liked her back. "Hey!" She propped the mop up against a chair and walked over to him, distantly aware of Ben still sitting in the back. Too nervous to check if he was watching them, Rey stepped closer towards the door, hoping Adam would scoot up with her. Not that she thought Ben would care, rather that she felt uncomfortable having the two of them in the same room. 

"How did you know I was here?" Rey spoke quietly, smiling, though she felt apprehensive. 

"Poe told me you wanted to see me," Adam took a step closer to her and extended a hand to touch her waist. 

Almost seconds after Adam's hand made contact with her, Ben's low voice interjected. "Hi," he approached Adam, deliberately holding out a hand to shake opposite the one that had touched Rey, forcing Adam to let go of her. "I'm Ben. Who are you?" 


	2. Fall, pt II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey Niima works at the coffee shop downstairs from her apartment. Ben Solo is a regular who has had his eye on Rey for quite some time. When Rey gets a boyfriend, Ben starts showing up more and more. [ a classic possessive!ben story. kinda horror, kinda cute, ~very~ smutty. not a winning example of healthy relationships. you’ve been warned. ]

Hux blinked at the hand extended to him, intending not to remove his hand from Rey’s waist in order to shake it. But when Rey gave him a horrified look, Adam presumed he was being rude. Clearing his throat, the blue eyed young man finally shook Ben’s hand. “Adam. How do you know Rey?” 

Ben laughed, though he found nothing funny about Adam’s direct question. Was this the _ boyfriend _ Poe had been talking about? Ben’s eyes traveled to Rey, sizing up her tense shoulders and avoidant gaze. He disliked Adam’s proximity to her, not just in stance but in the way he was so relaxed being that close to her. Like he already knew what it was like. 

The heat was rising in Ben’s ears, tinging his face slightly. 

“You ok buddy?” Noticing the blush, Adam echoed Ben’s laugh with his own.

Ben clenched his fist shut, fully calculating how much he’d have to hold back in order not to kill this asshole. There was a smooth foot of height between them, not counting the near double shoulder width Ben had to Adam. 

“Not to be rude or anything,” Rey interrupted their rigid exchange, her usual lilting voice a bit strained, “but I still have to close up the store.” 

She fiddled with the dish towel she’d tucked into the side loop of her jeans, eyeing both men with trepidation. This scenario had played out in her daydreams once or twice, despite her resolution to move on from Ben after nothing happened between them. Purely as a fantasy, Rey would imagine Ben grabbing her by the waist and pulling her away from whatever faceless boy pursued her. Seeing someone else _ want _ her - the wake up call Daydream Ben needed in order to finally do something - would send him into a possessive rage. Sometimes he would throw her onto the counter right there in the store, other times he would drag her back to his apartment, using alleys along the way to make sure she understood just _ what _ he _ wanted _. But always, always just a fantasy. 

Rey was too embarrassed to entertain it otherwise. She reminded herself after each delicious daydream that Ben would _ never _ do that to her, and she wouldn’t want him to either. It was too violent, too primal, too terrifying in real life.

Though the tension before her was not a surprise - Rey was certain Ben saw her as some sort of little sister, or an immature college girl stumbling through her mistakes - the reel of daydreams distracting her certainly was. Ben reaching for her instead of shaking Adam’s hand. Ben’s overpowering palms on her wrists, her neck, her stomach as he pulled her around--

“...I can wait.” 

Rey caught the tail end of Adam’s reply to her. Had he been talking to her the whole time? Ben remained stiffly attentive across her, his eyes unfavorable upon Adam. She wondered if there might be a way to set the entire store on fire and jump out the window, never to be seen again. 

Ben’s face shifted, as though something suddenly amused him. “You know. I left my laptop in the back. I’ll go get it.”

“I’ll meet you out front, Adam,” Rey smiled. He really _ was _ handsome, she concluded while watching him step outside. Patient with her, a good listener, thoughtful enough for someone she’d only known a month. Getting distracted by Ben - someone she never had a chance with - could very well be some of that “self sabotage” Poe often accused her of. Her co-worker’s voice echoed through her memory; _ You can never be happy with just being happy, can you Niima? Always wishing you were somewhere else - someone else. Let’s do another shot _. 

She beelined for the counter, proud of her resolve as she deliberately avoided running into Ben, who was apparently searching for his laptop. 

The dark haired man had, indeed, left his laptop in the back of the coffee shop, but it was hardly the reason he lingered. Ben watched Rey with fixed eyes, like a hunter studying a deer, deciding if he would protect it or make it into a meal. He had certainly imagined himself devouring her before. Sweet, innocent Rey, who never had time to think of her effect on men - too busy working her way through school and keeping her grades up. All those scholarships. All those late nights Ben saw her punching into a calculator behind the counter and scribbling things down between taking orders. 

His tiny brunette fantasy - now, Adam’s as well. 

Ben held back the nauseous swell of images - Adam’s hand on Rey’s waist, his mouth near her ear, his breath heaving into her neck as he pressed into her back, savagely, cruelly, undeservingly. He did not have any right to touch her, Ben concluded. How could Adam, when Rey had been _ his _ for so long? 

Ben’s eyes finally shifted from Rey’s busy silhouette, his mind made up. Something had to be done about Adam. 

Locking up the register, Rey grabbed her bag and started towards the exit. 

“So, definitely no boyfriend?” Ben’s deep voice stopped her. 

She turned slowly to him, stomach alight with nerves. “He’s _ not _ , he’s not _ really _ my boyfriend. Or anything. I’ve only known him for a month.”

“Then why are you letting him touch you like that?” 

“What?”

“Nothing. I just mean, it’s not really like you to casually… know guys.”

Rey’s frustration spiked. For an entire year she agonized over him, and now he wanted to interrogate her. Like what - a brother? Certainly not a lover. He had been clear enough about that, to Rey. 

“Well maybe I’m changing,” she snapped. “I have to go. Adam’s waiting for me. And you need to leave the store because I have to lock up.” 

Ben was stunned by her forceful tone, but he did not show it. Instead, the tall man smoothed his expression and slung the laptop bag over his chest, walking past her wordlessly. 

As he headed out of the coffee shop, Ben meditated on his predicament. He had always been the passive guy, living in the shadows of his own desire, too bloated with doubt to ever bring it to life. Adam’s stupid, pale face appeared in his mind, smiling at Rey. 

Ben stepped onto the narrow street, away from the glow of street lamps. He moved steadily through the dark. 

  
_ Maybe it’s time I change a bit, too _.


	3. Fall, Pt III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ( wow this update took a while! i'm not sure how i feel about the flow of this chapter, so any feedback is much appreciated!! it's my first time writing a possessive-smut scene, so be gentle. thanks for reading! )

Ben showed up right at the start of Rey’s shift the next day. He strolled up to the counter as soon as she’d gotten settled. Today Rey wore dark jeans and a long sleeve shirt, her hair left wild and damp around her face. Ben marveled at how the outline of her small breasts made his heart race. He had fallen asleep last night to the vision of her tied up and strung above his bed, those very same breasts plump and flushed from the pressure of the rope. His cock twitched at the memory--such a powerful imagination Ben Solo had when it came to Rey. 

And now that he was going to act on it, the image felt all the more powerful, as though she were a little lamb and he--conjuring her into his den--was the wolf that had waited so long to feast. 

Drumming his fingers against the counter, Ben cocked his head to the side and leaned forward. “Hey. I’m looking for this girl, Rey, have you seen her?” 

She wasn’t as playful this morning, he could already tell by her tense shouldered response. 

“Hey, Ben.” 

Concern immediately flashed across his face. “Everything ok?” 

Rey bit her lip, causing Ben to struggle between waiting for her to speak and reaching across the counter to grab her by the throat, run his thumb along those lips, tell her to _ answer him _ when he asks a question...

A brief flash of guilt interrupted the tug of war in his mind. Some kind of beast had emerged ever since seeing that Hux guy touch Rey. It rocked him to his core, drawing out the most sinister daydreams. Ben Solo didn’t even know he possessed the kind of desire to treat Rey the way he’d been imagining. On her knees. Pressed into the wall. Dragged along behind him. He didn’t even mind it if, in these fantasies, she was begging him to be gentle. To mind her heart. He would take care of her after, cradle her and feed her and kiss her wounds. 

“Ben,” Rey’s voice brought him back to the present, “Can I ask you something?” 

He quirked a brow, hopeful that his face hadn’t betrayed the hungering thoughts he harbored. “Sure. What’s up?”

“Do you have a problem with Adam?” 

Her question surprised him, especially considering the lurking violence in his honest answer. It was too soon to make his agenda known. After all, he wasn’t going to force Rey towards him. Simply… let her know that there were more options than some stupid soccer player frat boy who liked to grab at her. 

“What makes you say that?” Ben leaned in a bit further, noticing that her hands were fidgeting with something. A piece of paper, perhaps? A receipt? A note? He couldn’t tell. 

Rey watched him as he watched her. Today, the usual markers he used to read her were missing. She had closed herself off. Ben frowned at this realization. 

“Well, you were a bit rude last night. And I thought maybe you didn’t like Adam or maybe you’d heard something about him…” She trailed off, turning her head away. 

“Like a rumor?” It occurred to him that her sour mood might not have anything to do with him. Had Adam done something? Eyes flicking back to the paper in her hands, he watched her wring it between her fingers. “What’s that?” He nodded his head towards the mystery note. 

“Oh,” Rey regarded her hands as though she, too, had only just noticed them turning the paper about, like a pig roasting on a spit. Perhaps she had been hoping it would catch on fire. Disintegrate altogether. “Someone left this note on my door upstairs.” 

“Upstairs?”

“Yeah, I live above the coffee shop. Didn’t you know that?” 

Ben’s eyes shifted out of focus. He wanted desperately to ease her, to ask what the note said, to speak at length about how Adam Hux was trash and should be discarded _ right now _ , in a single text message, but all his mind could think of was following her upstairs after the shop closed. How he would come up behind her, while she fumbled with her keys, and breathe onto her neck, giving her certainty that the wolf who came to hunt at her door was one she knew well. After all these months, she must have learned his cologne by now. Especially since he wore it every day for her. And if she didn’t, he would _ gladly _ discipline her for such an oversight… 

“Ben? Hello?” 

“Sorry,” his eyes darkened with guilt, “I didn’t know that. I’m surprised it never came up, we’ve been friends for so long.” 

At the word ‘friends’, Rey’s eyes shot towards him, their hazel hue made almost black by the dilation of her pupils. Ben remembered reading somewhere that moments of fear or arousal could be read by the size of a person’s pupils. 

Which one was Rey feeling right now? He ached to know, and perhaps even to tower over her while he made her feel both, trapping her in the horror of her own desire. God knows he was already trapped in the horror of his. Why admire her through the glass when he could bring her inside with him?

“Friends usually hang out, Solo.” Rey pointed out with a snort. It seemed she had softened a bit. The note in her hand was shoved unceremoniously into her back pocket. Ben reached out a hand to catch her wrist, his fingers easily swallowing up half her forearm. “Are you saying you want to hang out with me?” His eyes were fixed on her eagerly, though his hand traveled down to the groove of her wrist, trying to finger the note out of her palm. 

“I’m _ saying _,” she pulled her wrist away from him, and he let her, “that you’re making a lot of assumptions about what we are.” 

This hadn’t been the direction he anticipated. “Are we not friends?” Having been leaning over the counter this whole time, Ben finally straightened his posture, feeling suddenly awkward and gangly as he loomed over her. All previous thoughts of the wolf in a man’s clothing, capturing his little Rey and feeding on every inch of her, were now replaced by shyness. She could tame him so easily. The realization almost reared the monster again, the thrill of being put in his place.

Rey was staring at him with a heavy expression, all playfulness lost inside this new, penetrating, calculating stare. She was upset with him, but he could not discern why. Ben tried to coax her softness back, moving to step around the counter and lowering his voice. “Rey?” 

She snapped at him, “Yeah. I guess we are just friends. Always have been.” 

With that, the petite brunette yanked the towel tucked into her belt loop and began busying herself with the steamer, cleaning it vigorously. Her eyes were set on the task, avoiding Ben Solo’s own determined gaze. His brain short circuited as it tried to both decipher the meaning of her bitter tone and pretend like watching her move her hands with such rapid precision up and down the steaming rod wasn’t causing the beast in his chest to roar.

“Well,” he pulled back, running a hand through his hair, which caused her to glance at him briefly, “If you want to hang out, _ friend _, I’m happy to hang around until the end of your shift. We could go to your place.” 

It wasn’t quite how he imagined things, having placed a few strategic objects around his own bedroom in case his plan to seduce Rey succeeded, but if he were being honest with himself the prospect of spending any time with her outside of this coffee shop, just the two of them, removed from interruptions like her co-worker Poe or her stupid Not Boyfriend Adam, was tempting enough on its own. 

She stopped cleaning the steamer, carefully folding the towel back up and laying it across the counter. Without making eye contact, she mumbled, “Sure…” 

It wasn’t enthusiastic, but he would take it. Ben smiled, lingering a moment to see if she would look at him, but even when she didn’t he walked back to his table with a prowling stride. He felt free, like an animal should be. 

Xxxxxxxxxx

Rey waited until Ben was out of view before she pulled the note back out. It was a scribbled warning, the handwriting she did not recognize. The crinkled paper read: “He’s no good for you”. She had assumed it was Ben, considering how tense he’d been towards Adam the night before, but it appeared as if the tall dark haired man didn’t even know she lived upstairs. That, or he was a supremely talented actor. 

Could it have been Poe? His handwriting was usually much more slanted (she did not see it often, but sometimes their shifts overlapped and he would write out the order tickets for her on little post it notes whenever the printer ran out). It wouldn’t be Adam, would it? That made no sense. Who would he be talking about, then? 

Her mind wandered the rest of the shift, causing her to stumble through orders and forget a few ones altogether, which made some regulars unhappy. 

“Doing alright?” One of them--a college student with a wide smile and muscular arms--asked her. Rey had been zoning out, accidentally overpouring the milk. “Oh!” She gasped, quickly swiping up the overspill with a towel. “Sorry. Long day.” 

He shrugged, taking his drink from the end of the counter and walking out. 

Rey wondered if that customer--someone she’d seen every day for three months now--ever thought of her as a friend. Ben Solo apparently did.

_ Friends _ . All the time she had spent pining over him, wondering why he never asked to see her outside of the coffee shop, convinced that he didn’t want more than a barista to flirt with--perhaps someone to make him feel comfortable and welcome at his regular neighborhood spot--he had considered them to be _ friends _?

Telling her this as soon as she’d moved on from her unrequited crush felt nothing short of cruel. And now he wanted to come over to her apartment--_ alone _\--to hang out?

Ten minutes or so before her shift ended, Rey’s phone rang. She had been in the middle of stealing furtive glances of Ben while he busied himself on a laptop, seemingly absorbed in whatever it is he was writing, and the buzzing in her back pocket startled her. 

Quickly, she answered, “Hello?” 

“Hey babe.” Adam’s cheerful tone greeted her. 

“Oh,” she paused, “hi. What’s up? I thought Snoke was making you run drills tonight.” Adam’s soccer coach was a relentless type, always demanding extra practice from his star players. 

“He let us out early. I want to see you. Can I come over?” Adam’s giddiness reached her through the phone, though she hesitated in response. 

“I, umm… I made plans. Kind of.” Her eyes darted towards Ben, who seemed to sense her, looking up from his laptop at that exact moment. He quirked a brow, mouthing, “you ok?”

Rey swiveled her back to him, continuing her conversation in a whisper. “I’m sorry.” 

“What plans, babe? Don’t you want to see me? I’ve been thinking about you all day. All the things I want to do to you…”

Rey almost dropped the phone. Although she’d only known him a month, it wasn’t like Adam to talk like this. He was generally respectful, if not occasionally vocal. Overall, he eased into sexual things. Never before had he been so up front. 

First Ben asking her to hang out, now Adam trying to seduce her over the phone. What was going on with the men in her life? 

“Wow,” she laughed nervously. Her attraction to Adam was reasonably strong, and he was _ quite _ good at kissing her neck, but she was still so new to letting a man touch her the way Adam wanted to that it felt a bit… fast, to be spoken to in that way. For years, Rey only had time for work and classes. She only started actively dating to forget about Ben, not necessarily to satisfy any physical craving. 

Adam took her pause as a sign of success, and he pressed on, “Let me come over and make you feel good. You’re so beautiful, Rey. I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

Rey heard the familiar sound of Ben Solo clearing his throat, coming from behind her. She turned slowly, aware that her face was fiercely blushing. He held his watch up and pointed to the time, as if to ask her something. 

“Hello?” Adam seemed to have finally registered her lack of response. 

“Sorry!” Rey squeaked, aware that Ben could now fully hear her side of the conversation as he stood there, smiling at her. “You’re so amazing. I’m sorry. I just have these other plans and…” 

“Is it with that Ben guy?” Adam’s tone went cross. 

“What?” 

“That stupid awkward guy from last night.” 

Rey reflexively defended him, forgetting that it was an easy context clue for Ben, who was right in front of her. “He’s not stupid or awkward. He’s my friend.” 

At this, Ben Solo’s smile widened. 

“Is that Adam?” He asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. Rey nodded. 

Adam backed off, though his tone was irritable. “Okay, sorry. Well, have fun with your friend Ben. I’ll just be at home, thinking about how I want to--”

Rey hastily hung up the phone, paranoid that Ben could hear Adam through the receiver. Though she had no reason to be embarrassed, did she? After all, Ben said they were friends. She made a mental note to apologize to Adam later for hanging up on him. 

“So your boyfriend doesn’t like me, huh?” Ben snorted. 

“I told you he’s not my boyfriend.”

“Someone should tell him that.” 

The counter still needed to be wiped down, and she busied herself with the task instead of responding to Ben. Her fingers felt like they were on fire. Why was it so hard to be around Ben, even after finding Adam? 

Ben watched her with stillness. He imagined himself walking up to her and taking her by the throat, demanding that she look at him. No, no, that was too aggressive. It would scare her off. 

But she’d been coy all day, avoiding his gaze, only looking at him when she thought he was engrossed in the laptop screen. 

“Are you ready?” His words held a double meaning, though Rey was innocent to it. She would not be, for long, if he could work up the courage. 

“Are you?” She came around to the other side of the counter, a playful glint in her tired eyes. He could tell she was conflicted. Probably something to do with Adam. 

Ben resolved to help her make up her mind. Or, perhaps, make it up for her. 

They did not speak as Rey locked up the shop, and when she let them into the upstairs, Ben held all of the doors for her while she snuck under his arm, clutching her bag close to the chest. As they entered her hallway, Rey beginning to shuffle through her keys, it occurred to Ben that his moment had arrived. 

He stood behind her, feeling his chest rise with anticipation, and he brought a hand up to the back of her neck. She was so small, so delicate, so tempting. Even if she resisted at first, from mere shock, he could pin her against the wall. He could help her understand that she wanted this to. 

Suddenly his stomach ran cold from the perverse thought. Ben pulled his hand away, disgusted with himself. What happened to letting Rey know he was an option? Mauling her in the hallway was… well… a fantasy. Not meant for real life. 

“Ben?” She’d unlocked the door, and was now waiting for him to step inside. 

He shuffled past her into the tiny apartment. 

It was decorated with succulents and wall art, most of which Ben recognized as being from local craft fairs. It seemed she really liked depictions of rivers and trees. “Fan of nature?” He joked. 

“You would be too if you grew up in a desert,” she jabbed back. “I have only two rules. They are important rules. You must follow them, Solo, you hear me? Shoes off, and don’t go into my closet.”

Ben nodded, sliding his shoes off. “What’s in the closet? Dead bodies?” 

Rey giggled. Whatever he'd done earlier that day to make her upset with him seemed to finally be counteracted. He was winning her over again. “If that’s what it was, I’d let you have a peek.”

She pulled her hair up into a makeshift bun, mesmerizing Ben as she did so. He loved watching her fingers pull loose hairs, guiding them together. “I’ll be right back, I have to wash my face. I smell like espresso beans.” Then, she disappeared into a door close to the entrance, which Ben assumed was the bathroom. 

As he stood there, curiosity took hold of him. Why was her closet off limits? What was she hiding in there?  


It hadn’t occurred to him that perhaps she just wanted a smidgen of privacy. That any normal person would expect a guest not to go rifling through their closet. Ben was too heated by his torturous daydreams to think reasonably. He was hungry for something--some part of Rey--to devour. 

His eyes went towards the only closed door--fitted in the back of the apartment, adjacent to the kitchen area. He moved as quietly as someone with his height and foot falls could. If she caught him, he’d just make an excuse about needing to use the bathroom himself and thinking there was another one through her bedroom. 

When he heard how loudly the water was running, it emboldened him. He stepped into her bedroom, overtaken by the scents that hit him. Lavender. Basil. Firewood. It seemed she really liked candles. Ben imagined himself holding one of those candles just above her exposed stomach, teasing her with the hot wax. 

The image brought a smile to his face as he zoomed in on the closet she’d forbidden him from looking inside. Now, _ what _was so special about this closet?

The closet was unwilling to yield at first, the rusty grooves refusing to slide. Ben had to give it a good yank. It made quite a noise, but when he paused the water was still running. He was in the clear. 

At first all he saw were clothes, mostly grey or black, hanging in clusters. The disappointment almost made him miss the laminated glinting that could be seen through the empty spaces between clothes. Was there something on the back wall? 

Ben pushed the clothes aside, stepping further into the closet. He took out his cell phone, turning on the flashlight and holding it up to the wall. 

What he saw made the beast in his chest roar with such ferocity he was certain the entire building shook. 

There were photos--rows of them--of Rey, completely naked. All different angles. It was clear she’d taken these, the camera in her hand in every single one, some of them with her face entirely swallowed by the flash. She was bent over in a couple of them, holding the camera around her shoulder and using a free hand to spread her ass open… 

Ben growled and slammed his hand against the picture, the erection in his pants so painful it made him dizzy. 

The part of him that tried to tame the beast was no longer operational.

He ripped the picture off the wall and bounded out of her bedroom, coming right up to the bathroom door. 

Right at that moment Rey opened it. She stumbled back. “Ben! What are you doing?” Her eyes went to his hand, where he was clutching a photo of her, nearly crumpling it in his crushing hold. “Ben?” Panic rose in her throat. “Ben where did you get that?” 

“Your closet,” he hissed. 

“Ben I asked you not to go in there!” Rey tried to step out of the bathroom but he blocked her in. “You’re… you’re scaring me,” she mumbled, trying to grab the picture out of his hand.

“What are these?” He waved the photo in her face. 

“I don’t understand why that’s any of your _ business _, Ben, jesus fuck. What is wrong with you?” Rey tried again to grab it from him. “You’re acting crazy.” 

She had taken those photos earlier in the year, after Poe had encouraged her to explore herself some more. They had been drinking wine and discussing her feelings for Ben, and it came as a suggestion in response to Rey's agonizing curiosity about Ben's feelings. Did he desire her, she'd asked Poe. Was she a desirable person? Poe suggested she get behind the camera lens and judge for herself.   


The photos had actually helped her quite a bit, having found herself getting wet while she hung them up one by one. Things with Adam had started a couple weeks after she put them up. The confidence she got from them helped her feel ready to forget about Ben--to give up on the possibility of his desire. But she _never_ intended on _anyone else_ seeing them.   


Ben didn't register her words. He was too caught up in the curve of her throat as she spoke. The way her muscles contracted when she swallowed. How he had held himself back from that throat, for months… How he had feared his own desire, embarrassed by its forcefulness… And now, Adam was going to take what was _ his _ if he didn’t do something about it. 

The beast had fully emerged. 

He placed both hands on the doorway, shielding the exit. 

“What are you doing?” Rey swallowed. Had she entered some sort of nightmare? 

“The way he was touching you. I could have killed him.” Ben's voice was gravelly to her; much different than the tall man who took his coffee black and liked to sit quietly in the corner and type away. 

“Who? Who are you talking about?” Rey’s throat felt dry. Her body was trembling, in shock from the sudden change in Ben’s demeanor. He was so calm walking up here. He’d been joking with her. Who was this person he’d become? Was he mad at her for taking those pictures of herself? She couldn't imagine why it would matter to him, let alone cause him to lunge at her like an animal... “Ben, you’re scaring me.”

“We both know he can’t make you feel the way I can.” He grunted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She whimpered. There was a time when the sentence he just uttered would have caused a thrill in her chest, but now, as she shivered across from him, eyes scaling the doorway for an opening in his tall silhouette so that she could squirm free, Rey wanted no part of this. 

Ben’s eyes had gone entirely dark. His chest swelling with each breath, he lowered his hands from the doorway and slowly stepped towards her. The photos were swirling in his mind, mixing in with the fantasies from last night, this morning, the past few months. It all became a blur, and the ache became too much. He started to unbuckle his belt. 

“Will you stop me?”


	4. The Final Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peak possessive toxic smutty trashy trash. You've been warned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is finally here!! The chapter I agonized over writing for months. Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who was patient, to the people who continued to find this story and trust me in your anticipation. there’s a dead bird/holy spaces theme happening in this chapter and, much like the darkness in young Ben Solo, I am embracing it. 
> 
> I hope this was worth the wait. Tell me your thoughts <33333
> 
> ALSO, this chapter is best enjoyed by putting [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wAtN8ctVlCU) on quietly in the background

At first there was only silence between them. Ben’s belt hung unbuckled, his hand hovering over the metal clasp. His face was suddenly unrecognizable in the yellow light of her apartment.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but this isn’t funny, Ben.” Her tone was instructive, bland, unnatural given the circumstances. If Ben hadn’t been so caught up in his own downfall, he might have felt offended by the shift. How quickly she could push him away… 

Never mind that he was the one slowly pulling his belt out of each loop on his jeans, utterly beside himself. 

Her proximity was like radiation. 

In some ways it had been since the first moment he met her at the coffee shop a year ago, her hair in a messy bun and her cheeks flush from the summer heat coming through the open windows. 

He needed to be ruined by her orbit. 

And after so much _ waiting _ … for a side of her she was giving to Adam, Ben could no longer hide behind his excuses about _ the right time to do things_. 

He recalled the versions of himself that lingered too long on her--watching Rey’s hand grip the frother, or her small wrists, always bare, running a towel along the steamer, or her eyes that always smiled before her mouth… that fucking perfect mouth he wanted so desperately to ruin like she had been ruining him with all of this taunting, this bitter shame. 

“This isn’t you.” Rey announced, her detachment wearing down as Ben thumbed the metal clasp. “We’re _ friends _ .” While that word had seemed like a barrier separating them earlier today, it now felt like the only barrier protecting them from what could not be undone. _ You wouldn’t hurt me, right? _

Ben relented briefly, like her words helmed him in. He was a ship spinning out but she could grip him, change course, take them back._ What _ was he doing? It was all a game--a harmless fantasy, not a ticking time bomb. 

The belt suddenly felt like an anvil in his hands, weighing him down, straight to hell. He let go of it. “I…” he began softly, lids fluttering, “I’m not myself.” He repeated her words like a cantillation--something whispered shamelessly between the pews, no god around to hear it.

She’d spent many drunken nights arguing with Poe last year about whether or not it was immoral to imagine Ben doing vile things to her. Things she wasn’t supposed to imagine _ anyone _ doing to her, let alone the mild mannered man who wrote manuscripts in the back of the shop and called her _ Rey of the Espresso Bean _ whenever she was in a low mood. After every conversation with Poe she spent equal time chastising Dream Rey for doing things Real Life Rey could never work up the courage for. She lived out delicious fantasies while Rey worked late and did her homework behind the counter. 

It wasn’t for lack of opportunity. The phone call with Adam earlier was evidence of that. Rather, it was the problem of Ben Solo; that he existed. Full stop.

He sensed her judgments brewing, taking silence as confirmation. “It’s always an arm’s length.” He took a few steps back, like a wounded animal retreating from a carcass, unworthy of the moon’s gaze. 

But Rey did not feel like a helpless bird dying in the soft glow of twilight. Something else stirred inside her. “You’re one to talk about _ boundaries _ right now.”

His shame was mixed with desire, contaminated by its violence. Her indignation was making him hard, and the indignity of _that_ was making him_ harder_. 

Ben thought of Adam’s stupid face. How he preyed on Rey with his presence. Smiling at her, watching her, the _ sick _ things he probably wanted to do to her and she was none the wiser. Having spent so long daydreaming his own cruelties, he knew what Adam wanted from his hardworking, innocent little Rey. 

“I have never--” he stepped towards her, certain that Adam could not claim these words “--once--wanted to hurt you.” The irony of his words were not missed, but he hoped that she saw the truth in them, too. 

If she did, his guilt would not be a burden anymore. He could finally embrace it--promises made to the darkness. To her skin. 

It was her will to deny him, that much he knew. 

But it was Rey who discovered--under the heat of his breathing--that it was her will to secretly want him to take it anyways. A faint horror settled in the back of her mind. _ All the times he did nothing. _

She saw him like a kaleidoscope--splayed out months of small talk and stolen glances. The perilous man who stood before her suddenly felt familiar again.

“I waited.” Rey found herself speaking, voice mounting with an odd, hazy frustration. “I _ waited _ for you and you did _ nothing _ . For a _ year_.” 

Ben winced. He felt like the reckless ship, spinning out again. His mind battered against the wind, some part of him intending to survive the storm Rey brought with her words; she wanted this? He couldn’t make her his in the way he’d shamefully come here to? The failure infuriated him. 

His free hand covered her mouth, swallowing most of her face in his palm. 

With his other hand, he bore down on the base of Rey’s throat. His fingers claimed her mouth, pressing savagely into her skin. 

Ben Solo was gone now. 

His promise to the darkness was being fulfilled.

“Is this what you call waiting--dating some fucking _ asshole _ who doesn’t know what he has? You have no idea,” he paused to breathe, “_what _ I would do.”

His hand was halfway between cradling her face and choking her softly. 

The indignity of his hold on her yielded a sin of equal horror--a sudden implosion of pleasure between her thighs as his fingers grazed her throat. Every sense was overwhelmed by destruction.

She was rapturous to him, trembling like this. He no longer wanted to hate himself for ruining this precious bird that came to feed from his hand. 

No, he was exalted by her struggle.

Her thighs were shaking, propped up against one of Ben’s legs. She whimpered, to which he grabbed her chin aggressively and then slowly, softly, pushed a few fingers into her mouth. 

In all of her fantasies about Ben Solo, she was a lamb and he was devastating her flesh. She savored him that way. Was this truly any worse? As Rey gagged against the feeling of his forceful fingers, slipping into reluctant pleasure, the question became more urgent.

As if he were glad to answer her curiosity, Ben pulled her panties off in one rough motion. Using his other hand to grab both of her wrists, he flipped her around and slid a hand down between her thighs. “Do you know how many times I imagined you like this?” It was the first kindness he showed her; admitting that he, too, had sinned many times. 

Rey dug her heels into the carpet. She was so close to orgasming. He drew out the wilderness in her. She was delirious, hands fumbling for the place between her legs, almost accidentally pushing him out of the way. Desperate to feel release, her fingers easily slid between the folds of her pussy. Ben grabbed her wrist, yanking her hand away. 

“You’re _ dripping _…” he observed with ungodly delight. “That belongs to me.” He pulled her arm towards him, bringing her hand up against his flushed lips. Ben kissed each knuckle before sucking Rey’s fingertips. In his violence, she experienced tenderness. What was more surprising was how much she liked it.

Biting the skin above her clavicle, he pulled it between his teeth and passed his tongue over it a few times. Rey felt _ every _ shiver as though she could never feel anything else beyond this. As though Ben had emptied her of any memory of herself before the delirium his roughness submerged her in. She _ needed _ to orgasm, or else she would never find her way back. 

Her fingers curled against him, desperate to return to their task. The more he withstood her efforts the more feral she became. His amusement was evident, and it tormented her. Why wouldn’t he just let her orgasm? Why did he have to draw out the moment, make her ache with anticipation and shame and euphoria and perhaps the faint knowledge that she would hate him for this later? 

It was too much. Too many questions and no light left in the sky to find the answers. Rey could no longer refuse. She relished the threat of him now. 

For the first time since he began devouring her, she spoke. “You’re afraid. That you will never be Adam.” 

The boldness disarmed him. His ferocity faltered, but he still snapped at her. “_Don’t _ say his name _ to me_.” 

Her delirium was peaking. If she didn’t orgasm in the next few seconds, she would rip the walls off and take them down with the debris. Anything to provoke him. Past fantasies began mixing with real life. Things she would dream of saying to him--to rile him up, to draw out the beast within. “You can’t stand that he touches me.” The words spilled like tempestuous waters. “He… _ fucks _ me while you…” Her mouth was failing her, raw and anguished by the wait, “... you just _ let _ it happen.” 

Was that enough? 

Would he follow in Dream Ben Solo’s footsteps, engulfed by a possessive rage that could only end with her orgasm? 

Would he free her?

This was nothing like watching him wistfully from across the room, or blushing at the little jokes he made every time he ordered. This was a bird climbing into the mouth of a wolf, belly exposed and wings unraveled. 

Ben could barely see the room around them anymore. The only thing he could comprehend was the ferocity with which he claimed her pleasure. She _ dared _ to taunt him with a man who had no right to touch her in the first place? She _ relished _ in filling his head with the worst possibilities? 

It was uncouth, unchaste, unacceptable. 

He nearly clawed her legs apart, numb to the cries of pain. _ Nothing will stand in my way_. 

The front door shook. 

Ben’s hand froze just above her clit, so close to the swollen apex that he could feel the air throb between his fingers and her nerves. The latch on the lock clicked, and the door opened to reveal a breathless Adam Hux, his cheeks full-blooded to match the rage in his eyes. 

“Do you know that everyone in the hall can hear you?” He stormed in, drawing a trail of mud with him from the soccer cleats he hadn’t changed out of. His uniform--black and crimson--was streaked with grass stains. He seemed to fully register the state of Rey, panties drawn, breathless much like him. He began shouting. “Is this why you didn’t want to see me tonight? I told you what I would have done and you--you _ chose _ this asshole instead?”

Rey felt her body go slack, realizing that Ben had relinquished her. He was lunging towards Adam now, clipping him right in the stomach as they both crashed into the door frame. Before Rey could scream she saw the blood pouring from Adam’s nose, Ben preparing to land another punch. 

Adam tried to fight back with what little momentum he had, but the blood was too much. His arms wobbled as they tried to swing back. Ben growled, grabbing the front of Adam’s soccer jersey and slamming him into the door frame. 

"_If_ _I ever see you near her, and I mean-- _ ever--_I will make you regret every second of your miserable existence._” This was Ben marking his territory. His wounded, sad little swallow that would not bear its stomach to anyone but him. He violently tossed Adam out into the hallway by his shoulders. “You will never touch her again.” 

Adam struggled to his feet. “I’ll make you regret this,” he gurgled through clotting blood, holding a hand to his nose. His cleats squeaked as he scrambled down the hall, and the apartment was silent again.

Rey’s mind was in disarray. The thrill of what she just witnessed was evidenced by the pool of wetness on her thighs. But so was the fear, written all over her face. 

Ben’s back was to her, but she knew it wouldn’t last long. She searched his silhouette for a sign of what he would do next. 

“Ben…” her voice was a whine, betraying everything and nothing. He already knew, didn’t he? 

He pivoted slowly towards her, revealing a wicked smile on his face. “That’s right, baby. Tell me who you belong to.” 

The path between them was dotted with Adam’s blood. Rey would have to spend hours on her knees later, trying to get it out. She would have to spend months, maybe years, forgetting it ever happened. But the depravity did not stop her from finally accepting what had become true. 

For better or for worse. 

“Ben.”


End file.
